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Quiet Times for Couples | Today's Date

I'm going through a daily devotional (however, sometimes it's semi-daily, but that's ok), and I'm loving todays, so I thought I would share it.

I love the thought of getting OVER your thoughts. Stop thinking about the PAST, and look brightly into the future! Rehearse your victories, instead of rehearsing every bad thing you've ever done.

51 weeks until my wedding!

My goal is to lose 30 pounds in 50 weeks.. That's about half a pound a week. I'm going strict vegan/pescatarian. I will be posting what I eat on instagram and snapchat. One day of the week I will post what I eat here on the blog.

My current weight is 150. I'm a size 8 dress. My goal is to get to a four at least. Being on olanzapine has been SO hard for me! I hate that it makes me gain weight, but I have been much, much more stable with my BPD, so it's a hard balance. It's going to be even harder to LOSE weight, much less keep it at a stable level, but I know I can do it. <3

Wedding Venue

For the past couple months Jay and I have mutually agreed that we were going to have our wedding at our house. The cost of a venue is just too expensive. Well, I started going to a new church a couple of weeks ago, and they have a team center. And it is gorgeous. And I've decided I am having my wedding THERE. It's SO beautiful and perfect, and cost effective. I'm SO grateful.

This is actually the back part of the building, where the ceremony will be.

Work Less, Study More

I've dropped down to working one day a week. I can't study enough it seems like, and I'm getting B's. I am trying super hard, but that isn't enough. I am used to being a straight A student, so getting B's and the occasional C is hard for me. Thankfully it's all graded on a curve. <3

Jay is doing well, working a lot. My friend assumed my car lease, so that has helped with the bills.

Generally we are doing well and getting by.

Bible Questions | Genesis 14-25

15:6, It was impossible to please God in the old testament, with the exception of offering a burnt offering to God. In this verse it explains that Abram's faith made him righteous in God's eyes.

20:2, Abraham lies to King Abimelech and God does not punish him for lying.

22:5, Abraham lies to servants about bringing Isaac back from the trip. He knew God had commanded him to kill Isaac, so why did he tell the servants they would both be right back?

24:16, It's funny how 'marriage' and 'virgin' are used here.

24:67,  Sex made them married. Hmm.

I'm thoroughly enjoying the NLT. It's SO much easier to read than the KJV.

Why I Hate Religion

Bible Questions | Genesis 1-13

As I am reading through my new Bible, there have been questions that arise. I will share them here and if you have answers for me, you can comment or email me. I would greatly appreciate it.

My first observation was that in the garden of Eden, God prioritized rawness higher than honesty. For example, God knew that Adam and Eve had eaten of the fruit, but he asked them anyway, because He wants us to be honest with Him. All He wanted was an honest answer.

I'm confused about Genesis 4:7, "...Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master." This is hinting that you are able to live without sin and that confuses me.

I also wonder what the mark God put on Cain was.

It also occurs to me a year is never specified as 365 days. A year could have been what we call a month, and so the people weren't really living to 900 years old.

Genesis 8:22 states how global warming is not a thing.

In Genesis 10:5 it states how the tower of Babel wasn't the first place to have different languages. Also 10:25.

Another question I had was, in Genesis 12, Abram was deceitful to Pharaoh about who Sarai really was, but God blessed him anyway. Why was lying to Pharaoh ok in this instance? Isn't lying always frowned upon?

That's as far as I've gotten in my bible so far, but I'm sure lots more questions will arise.

Youth leaves home to play ball!

I found this interesting article on the internet the other day, and thought I would post it.

I struggle with the idea of the church, and often go back to the forum on Topix where so many people that have left the church debate on it's right or wrongness. I'm going to start going to a Bible study with my cousin, and just maybe that will clear things up for me. If not, at least it's something positive in my life.

Why School is Way Harder than I Thought it Would Be

Do I really need to explain? College is Tough. I'm barely (just barely) getting good grades. Nutrition is by far my hardest class. Then Sociology is next. I don't know why Sociology is so hard, maybe because I don't understand how it can be a college course at all.

English is fantastic, I love it. And math is going very well too. I'm NOT looking forward to Chemistry and Biology. But it has to be done, I suppose.

Working Saturday and Sunday is enough for me. By Sunday night I'm thoroughly tired and can't wait to get home.


The dress I ordered for our engagement photos got here today - and it is gorgeous. I can't wait to wear it.

My Ring

Better Grade Than I Thought

Today in sociology we all passed around our papers, and graded them. I thought I received mine back and it was graded at 80%, and I was actually very happy with that grade (it's better than an F!) but then someone messed up and it wasn't my paper. I was graded with 100%. I was pretty proud of myself.

I broke my phone screen today. I ran into Verizon to get it fixed but they couldn't fix it, I had to do it through Zaggs, which is an online program that offers lifetime warranties on your phone screens. So I went online and exchanged my phone protector out, and they're sending a new one out pronto.

I'm going into work tonight to cover a shift for 7-10. It will be good to see that extra $$ on my check.

Wedding Planning

Now that I'm back on track with medications, I'm ready to begin planning (or rather, continue planning) my wedding. It will be super busy with school and everything, but we'll get'r done.

Here is my wedding website. There's not much there so far, but I'll continue to add things as time progresses.

The colors of my wedding are sage and blush.

I can't decide whether I'll wear a white dress or a blush dress, but I do have the style picked out. It will be a very formal reception, but the ceremony will be relaxed. We're estimating around 80 people, so it will be a small wedding; which I love.

Labor Day

It was so nice to have nothing on my agenda. Now to study and do homework...

Meds + Essential Oils

I'm back on birth control, as I mentioned, because my current meds are class D. (Fatal to the fetus.)

I'm on olanzapine and fluoxetine. (Zyprexa and Prozac)

Olanzapine has a wide amount of side effects, of which the worst are:

• Allergic reactions
• Blurred vision
• Fast or uneven heartbeat 
• Fever
• Night sweats
• Excessive restlessness
• Jerky muscle movement that's uncontrolled
• Severe sleepiness
• Liquid discharge from breasts

I have suffered from every one of the above side effects, but thankfully they only last for a short time while your body is adjusting to the med, and then they go away.

Fluoxetine also has a varied amount of side effects, of which the worst are:

• Confusion
• Anxiety
• Night sweats
• Nausea 
• Dissiness
• Trouble sleeping

Among other things. 

Mainly I'm on the olanzapine to keep my mania in check, and I'm on the fluoxetine to keep my depression in check. I'm an odd mix of Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2, whereas I'll go for months in one stage, and then go for months in the other. 

Normal people are like the purple. They have happy moments and sad moments. Bipolar 1 people are crazy energetic and hardly ever get sad. Bipolar 2 people sleep a lot and hardly smile. 

Even with my meds, and not wanting to be on any more than I HAVE to, I still get horrible anxiety and have frequent anxiety attacks. HOWEVER, I've been able to really keep them in check lately, using essential oils. I use Eden's Garden essential oils, and I've never had a problem with them and I LOVE them. The current blend I'm using is bergamot, clary sage, frankincense, German chamomile, melissa, neroli, rosewood, vetiver and ylang ylang. I also put pine in, but mostly for the smell. I mix it with almond carrier oil. 

I'm so glad I invested in such a wide variety of oils!

Nutrition Quiz

I got an A on my nutrition quiz, I was pretty proud of myself.

Sociology is just a bunch of hooey I feel like, but I'm trying to understand it better. We're studying cultural universals right now, and I was supposed to give some examples of them.
1) Sticking your tongue out is an acceptable way to point in some cultures, and is deemed an act of disrespect in others.
2) Wearing clothes is optional in some cultures, whereas in our culture it is not optional and is even illegal to walk around without clothes.
3) In general, especially traditionally, the male gender were the sole providers of the families, whereas in some cultures, it is the woman (I know this to be particularly true of an African tribe).

And those are just a few.

Jay is drafting for football season today: read, "Emily did not see Jay tonight." lol. He has been in his man-cave all night. But it's given me time to study sociology so I don't mind.

I work one more week of Friday-Satuday-Sunday and then I'm scheduled for Saturday-Sunday-Tuesday forever.  I might have to drop the Tuesday, but we'll see.

If I didn't have a car payment I wouldn't have to work hardly at all but my payment is huge and I must pay for it. It is nice to own my own car and not have to worry about borrowing a car.

Well, I'm off to pinterest the night away,
See you soon!